5 Ways Sin Crept Into My Christian Relationship

"Seems legit." - Me

1. God became “boring.”

At least one person in the relationship was no longer satisfied in Christ. It wasn’t anything drastic, it was all very subtle, really.

If you are not driven to live a life of righteousness, this may not be your time to think about marriage.

If the idea of waking up to commune with the Lord, does not excite you- you should not be in a relationship.

Because when God bores you, your flesh will search for something that excites you. Eventually that source of entertainment influences you, and at that moment, sin enters your heart.

Many people get bored after they have been saved for a while. It happens. God is faithful to always draw us back to Him.

However, from my experience: boredom with Christ + relationship = absolute fail. Trying to jump into a relationship, when the most important relationship in your life isn't thriving-

As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness. (Psalm 17:15) 2. We lacked direct mentorship. We didn’t have established mentors. Did we have men and women of God in our lives who we looked up to and learned from? Yes. Did we have pastors and church leadership? Yes.

But, was a there a specific, individual couple who mentored us? No. I knew this was a thing people should have, but I didn’t take it serious enough. Looking back, I know that a mentor couple could have seen things in us that we were unable see.

They could have been there to humble us, rebuke us and guide us with the wisdom of Christ. No one ever really had the opportunity to pour into us because they weren’t invited to- and for that, we paid. We made mistakes that could have been avoided and we chose to deal with the consequences alone. Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1)
3. We didn't have accountability. Unfortunately, I don't have many close friends. I love people a lot. I really do! But I haven’t exactly proven that I am willing to sacrifice and give what it takes to build real, genuine friendships...yet. (This will change!) With true friendship comes true accountability. People who care enough to know what you are doing and where you are doing it.

The lack of accountability gave us the “freedom” to do what we wanted...where we wanted to do it. Even though you have a personal relationship with Christ, when you hold yourself accountable, you tend to compromise your standards a lot more than when other people hold you accountable- which is the definition of accountability. Probably. As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17)
4. We kissed. Is kissing inherently sin? Well...no. Do I ever want to do it again outside of marriage? NO. (Sounds a lot like sin, which I also never want to do again...just saying. Whatever. I’ll just leave this here. K bye.)

Refraining from sex can become so religious and legalistic that you forget why you are even doing it- it can literally become an idol. So when you’re wearing abstinence like a badge of honor, it’s no wonder the rest of your standards fail miserably. The goal was to be made into His image now it's simply to not have sex. I know that was a bit deep, so here's a simple verse- Claiming to be wise, they became fools. (Romans 1:22)

5. We were led by temptation and not by God’s timing. As Christians in this world, we are out of place. It’s uncomfortable- it’s one big contradiction. But here we are.

We each have our own story line to salvation, but (spoiler alert) they all have the same ending. We were bad, God made us good. We are called according to God’s plan, which He perfected before we were even born. Yet, we still make our own plans, because we are tempted. And the whole catch with temptation is- it’s the idea that something out there could ever be better than God’s plan. And it can't! It never will!

Nope.

The desire to be loved is real. Loneliness is real. But just because two single Christians are on fire for the Lord and are compatible- it does not mean it is God’s plan for them to be together. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

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3 Things I Always Do When I Am Experiencing Contentment

I'm not always content, but when I am-

1. I plan and pray for today.

Sometimes I dream about the future. Not intentionally...I just do.

I think about the things God has revealed to me concerning my purpose and I begin to imagine different scenarios. I pray about those hypothetical moments and dwell on them until they consume a huge portion of my thought life.

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with praying about the future or even dreaming, by any means. In fact, the problem isn’t what I’m doing- it’s what I’m not doing.

Far too often, I am so consumed with what might be, that I ignore what already is.

I’m praying about a vision I have, but I totally neglect to surrender my will to Christ and submit my day to Him. I haven’t thanked Him, lately, for the job I already have or for my good health.

A true sign of contentment is when I have the self-control to focus on what the Lord is doing in my life, right now!

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:33-34)


2. I can rest.

Children are starving. There isn’t any clean water to drink. Christians are being killed. Abortion is normal. And apparently everything under the sun causes cancer. Also the sun. The sun causes cancer.

And with all these problems- Who has time for rest, am I right?

Well...God did.

God was busy creating the world when He decided to chill out for a minute. The entire world! How much more do we need rest as we exhaust our limited strength maintaining our own little worlds?

The ability to rest is a sure sign of contentment and trust in the Lord. It reveals that we are satisfied with what God already did, yet we will still continue to press on and be used as vessels for what He continues to do.

And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made. (Genesis 2:2-3)


3. I can commit to something.

I've learned that I am not as content as I'd like to think I am. Instead, I've used being "content in the Lord" as an excuse to not commit to much of anything.

While it's true that as everything around me changes, Christ is the one thing that remains the same- it doesn't mean everything should always be changing.

Real contentment is the ability to be responsible and maintain, non-religious, healthy routines that benefit my relationship with the Lord and fulfill His will for my life.

Contentment fuels the ability to do all things- and the only thing more rewarding than being able to do anything is being able to do exactly what God tells me to do.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:11-13)

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5 Practical Tips That Will Transform The Way You Serve

1. Choose to be loving.

Sometimes we have bad days.  And sometimes we have to serve on those bad days.

But we don’t have to react to every single emotion that we feel. When you’re having a bad day, but you’re committed to serve, pray that God will change your heart to view any hindering situations from His perspective. Ask Him to become your source of joy and strength.

Don’t be the greeter at church who never smiles.

 When you could just not be a greeter at church.

Likewise, it's important to be energized and ready for the task. Making healthy eating choices and remaining active throughout the week, can pay off a ton when it's time to serve.

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; - Romans 12:10-11


2. Do it with a pure heart.

We can certainly trick people, but we will never get one over on God.

God sees the depths of our hearts and even understands the intention behind each of our thoughts.

Mind = blown, I know.

It’s important to ask God to cleanse your heart of impurities and selfish motives. He wants our hearts to be pure when we serve Him. And He wants us to serve out of our own free will.

As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind; for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever. - 1 Chronicles 28:9

3. Do what you’re good at.

I’ve done a lot of things that I shouldn’t have, but I will never ever ever, join the worship team. Let’s just say I’m not exactly "musically inclined." Don’t get me wrong, I love to worship and sing praises to Jesus...right...over...here.

We should ask God to reveal our gifts to us, so that we can serve appropriately and effectively. It is significantly more rewarding to serve in the areas where God has already blessed our hands.

Aside from prayer, we can think about our gifts in a practical way, by considering our strong suits, hobbies, interests, classes we excel in and the things we simply spend our spare time doing.

As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. - 1 Peter 4:10

4. Serve as a choice.

There is absolutely positively nothing we can do to earn our salvation. So why try?

We are called to serve the Lord, not because we have to earn His love, but because He freely gave it to us.

The Lord gave us freedom, but with this freedom, we shouldn’t seek out opportunities to fulfill our fleshly desires. No, we should use that freedom to go out of our way to serve one another.

You don’t have to serve to be saved, but since you are saved, serve.

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. - Galatians 5:13

5. Lay down your life.

Even, the most holy Jesus Christ did not come down to earth to be served. Rather, He came to serve and to offer His life as a living sacrifice.

Jesus is calling us to lay down our lives for one another. Despite our differences, our flaws, our religious pet peeves, Christ is beckoning us to become humble, as He was (and is) and to present ourselves as a sacrifice.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. - Mark 10:45

And the number one key to serving: always, always do it as to the Lord- and not to men.

With goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men - Ephesians 6:7


Hopefully these points will help you dive into prayer and make some requests to God concerning your heart as it relates to serving. I know I personally need all the prayers!

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3 Fears We All Face (And What God Says About Them)

It is God's will for us to walk in love and not in fear. However, the enemy uses fear to cripple us and limit our potential to grow in the Lord. Here are three common fears many of us face - and what God has to say about them!

1. The fear of rejection.

It feels good to be accepted.

Before I gave my life to Christ, I was in a relationship. He was a nice guy. Then I found out he was married- separated, but married. We broke up. He said he missed me. We got back together.

(I know what you're thinking.)

The devil took me a lot further than I wanted to go, and kept me a lot longer than I intended to stay. I was in his territory and he made it known. For months, years even, after the relationship ended, I was tormented. In my mind I believed the kingdom of darkness was far more powerful than the Kingdom of Heaven.

In 2012, I gave my life to Christ and I joined the best campus ministry under the sun, Bethel Campus Fellowship. One night - though trembling, crying and completely in bondage - I gave my testimony for the first time. My new brothers and sisters in Christ held onto every word and, to my surprise, looked almost as relieved as I felt, to admit my shameful past. Greeted with hugs, smiles and praises of the Most High- I felt chains fall. Weight floated away. I was free.

I knew right then I belonged to a family. I was accepted.

Fast forward a couple years. I meet another group of Christians. Eager to share my testimony, I tell the same story. But this time it was different.

It wasn’t received very well at all. I was encouraged to...not share it anymore. I went from being “pure” to being filthy. I mean- who likes an adulteress, right?

My heart was broken. I couldn’t believe it. What about the cross? Am I not a new creation? Are you even a Christian, bro?!

I was rejected.

Rejection hurts. Acceptance feels good. And God gave His only Son, so that we would be accepted. Far too often, however, we become enslaved to fear- the fear that we won’t be accepted. Or that we won’t ever truly belong to a community of people who understand us, people who legitimately love the person God called us to be. It is not uncommon to experience the fear of not being accepted.

As Christians we do not have to be afraid of rejection, because we have a Father in the Lord. A Father who took us in and adopted us when the world left us as mere orphans.

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” - Romans 8:15


2. The fear of being alone.

Admit it- the best thing about an inside joke is the “inside” part. The situation may not even be all that funny, but the fact that you and someone else thought of the same exact thing, at the same exact time, is absolutely hilarious.

Sometimes doing things alone, just isn't quite the same. The fear of loneliness comes in all shapes and sizes. Fear that you’ll never get married or that your current spouse will never understand and appreciate you. The fear that you are too weak and tired to carry on by yourself.

Or the fear that you are alone in your suffering, totally isolated from everyone else.

The more you realize just how huge of a role God desires to play in your life, the less power, the fear of being alone, has over your life. God literally designed our lives in a way that forces our existence to depend on His. Not only does He long to be Lord over every area of our lives, but he sent His Holy Spirit to guide us each step along the way.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9


3. The fear of persecution.

Have you ever made someone mad just by being a Christian?

I remember the Lord told me to work a part-time job while I was in school. He specifically wanted me to be a light at my workplace and to reveal His love to a few co-workers. Ya know, an inside job.

It didn’t take long for me to realize who He had his eyes on. I began testifying of the Lord’s goodness and every day was a challenge. One particularly painful day, God allowed me to overhear two co-workers admitting what they wanted to do to me. It was so violent I couldn’t believe it. Why did God have me here? I was so uncomfortable!

I dreaded work, but the Lord met me in my secret place and I knew He could meet me in a restaurant too. The Holy Spirit led me to fast and pray for a co-worker who was in over her head with alcoholism and promiscuity. I was hungry and I didn’t want to miss meals for her, but by God’s grace, I did.

One day after the fast, I was at work serving tables as usual. I was entering an order when I heard my name, so I looked up from the screen- and that same co-worker was holding an open bible between her hands, and with tears in her eyes, she asked- “Where do I find salvation?”

God didn’t promise we wouldn’t be persecuted for doing exactly what He called us to do. It seems strange, really, when you think about it. The God of peace leads us to do things that hurt. But He knows better than me - and as sweet as they may be - nothing ever grows in comfort zones.

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” - 1 peter 3:14

Fear looks different to everyone. But it always creeps into our hearts in a way that intentionally plays on our individual insecurities and experiences. I encourage you to seek the Lord and rebuke the scary thoughts that enter into your mind daily.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.

- Psalm 34:4

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I know Christians everywhere are battling fear- What has God shown you? I'd love to know :)

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5 Signs Something is Becoming an Idol in Your Life

Because no one deserves that place.

1. You do it for God, but it comes before God.

Ok so this is basically the definition of idol, I know. But I want to put emphasis on the "for God" part. It is much easier to identify an idol that contradicts God's word (like certain music or drugs or money or *insert sin here*) than it is to recognize an idol that glorifies God.

Unfortunately, the things we do for God have just as much potential to become idols. Take my blog, for example. I do it for God, sure.

However when I write a post, but haven't spent time with God, my blog has become an idol. That might not be the case for everyone, but the Lord has convicted me in this area, so for me it is the case. Besides, I'm a scary person when I haven't spent time with God and am in no condition to be sharing my thoughts about anything anywhere ever at all.

It is not God's will for us to serve Him, without Him. We can do a lot of great things in Christ's name without ever experiencing true intimacy with Him. Something you're doing for God might be becoming an idol if you would rather do it than spend time with God.

For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeit himself?

Luke 9:25 ESV

2. It has the ability to bring you up and down.

Up and down? You know like...ridiculously happy, then depressingly sad.

One of my favorite preachers, Mike Bickle, always says something along the lines of, "You will respond to someone's criticism with the same measure you respond to their praise." So if things are going really great and people keep reminding us that things are going really great, we might be tempted to think, "Wow, I have this under control. I'm so gifted. I have so much faith."

When truthfully, God deserves all the credit. Likewise, when something has the power to so drastically dictate our emotions, it might be taking the place of God.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Luke 12:34 ESV

3. If you check it before you pray.

This is similar to number one, except it doesn't have to be something we are specifically doing "for" God. It is simply what we check first. It could be Facebook...or SnapChat..or text messages...or Instagram. Anything. Well, except Twitter. Twitter can do no wrong.

Even Jesus woke up first thing in the morning to pray, and He's Jesus. There is something special about letting the Father's thoughts of you be the first opinion you hear all day.

Now in the morning, having risen a long while before the daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.

Mark 1:35 NKJV

4. If it causes you to do things outside God's will.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you would go along with whatever they say? (Well, "loved" in quotations. Real love tells the truth.)

Things (and people) in our lives can have the same effect on us. Sometimes we are so passionate about what we are doing, that we don't even realize we've compromised and stepped outside of God's will.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:33 ESV

5. You get defensive about it.

You know that one thing that comes to your mind when you read posts like these? Or when you hear a sermon, or when someone in your life says something that makes you self-reflect.

And you know you need to surrender it to God and put it back in its rightful place. But it's just so much easier to stand up for it and brush it off as "not a big deal."

So you keep coming up with some way to justify it because, well...because it's becoming an idol.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV

(By the way, I wrote a post about 5 idols you NEVER seen coming, check it out here!)

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The biblical impact of music + $100 giveaway: An interview with J.Monty

When I stumbled upon this viral video with over 2.4 MILLION views (about 1 million at the time,) I immediately became a J.Monty fan. I bought his album shortly after and let's just say...R.I.P to the assignment I was working on that night. I was able to talk to J. Monty and ask him about his new album, Second Born. Below is part two of the conversation. If you missed part one, check it out here. *Naturally, it wouldn't be HollyLooYa if I don't include some of my reactions as well. (see: between paragraphs)

Holly: I read somewhere that the video for 100 bars pt. 3 took over a year to make and you had to drive to Massachusetts from Atlanta, you must've been extremely tired.

Holly: How did you know the specific vision for the video was worth holding onto?

J. Monty: [Laughs] I didn’t know. There were plenty of times that I wanted to just give up. I actually grew completely sick of the concept. When it first came to me it was fresh I was like, “Oh my goodness, people need to hear this!” But a few months in, a few checks gone all the way to Massachusetts...I’ll never see em again. All of the thousands of dollars spent, all of the pain that me and my wife went through, I was like, "this isn’t even worth it." I wanted to give up. It was God who would not let me throw in the towel. He kept reminding me, He kept waking me up with that conviction in my Spirit, but I wanted to give up a long time ago. So, I didn’t know. That’s my answer.

Holly: I read that “Second Born” is about being born again, not about being the second born child in the family line necessarily. Are you the second born?

J.Monty: Yeah, I’m the second  born. So it works both ways.

H: Name something notable in your everyday life that has changed since you were born again?

J: Something that I noticed, that’s notable everyday, is actually...conviction. I feel convicted about things that before I was born again, I could care less about. I would do certain things, I would have certain thoughts and I would just be happy doing whatever I wanted to do. As everyone knows, there is temptation everywhere, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been saved, nobody’s perfect. But since I’ve been saved, I actually have convictions now and I actually feel bad if my heart wants to go a certain way, if my heart wants to stray. And there was time when that stuff just did not matter to me. So probably conviction of my sin. Or an awareness of my sin for that matter.

H: As a musician, do you have any insight or revelation on why music has such a strong impact on us?

J: I wish I had a bit more insight on it. But I will say this much, music, even psychologically, is just proven to have a deep impact on people. There are people who are like vegetables, they are almost brain dead and they’re in rehab, for example, trying to build themselves up. And they can’t talk, they can’t move, they can’t do anything. But if you play a certain song from their childhood, they know all the words. They can’t remember their own name, they can’t remember their own children, they can’t remember anything. Like people with Alzheimer's can’t remember their own children or their own name, but if you just play a song that meant a lot to them, play their favorite song, they can sing along right with you. Music is a lot more powerful than I think people want to recognize. And it’s easy for people to just kind of gloss over it and be like “music ain’t powerful, it’s all about the beats.” Because honestly music has transitioned to a plastic place where cats get in the studio and don’t even write stuff they just get behind the mic and young thug it out. And it’s just super simple so people are like “nah man music doesn’t do all of that” but really it does, it’s extremely powerful. When you think about the fact that David was able to chase Saul's demons away by playing the harp. He would literally be able to shake those demons out of Saul, who would be in a trance and wanted to harm David, just by playing a song. Music is extremely powerful, it has really, really deep spiritual connections.

Babies start showing signs in the womb if you play a song and put headphones up to their mom’s stomach, they start getting excited. Music connects with infants who are oblivious to what is going on in the world, music is just something that connects with all human beings. I think at the end of the day, it is as at the core of our very being. I think it is a part of our DNA, like it’s just embedded in all of us and that’s why it’s one of the most powerful industries in the world, because that’s something that everybody needs. Nobody can say that they don’t listen or need some kind of music.

J. Monty is an up and coming Christian Hip-Hop artist out of Atlanta, Ga.

known for his versatility, lyrical ability, and insane flow.

Second Born can be found on:

iTunes
Amazon
Google Play

I love the album so much that I am giving away a copy. And in honor of 100 Bars I'm giving away $100 to Dunkin Donuts. Enter the giveaway below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How does God reveal His word to you? (An interview with J.Monty)

When I stumbled upon this viral video with over 2.3 MILLION views (about 1 million at the time,) I immediately became a J.Monty fan. I bought his album shortly after and let's just say...R.I.P to the assignment I was working on that night.

I was able to talk to J. Monty and ask him about his new album, Second Born. Below is part one of the conversation. Stay tuned for more topics later this week.

*Naturally, it wouldn't be HollyLooYa if I don't include some of my reactions as well. (see: between paragraphs)

Holly: How does God reveal His word to you? And how do you know what to share through music?

J.Monty: I would say it varies. There have been times where I have gone to sleep and woken up with an entire song in my Spirit. And it’s literally laid out for me, the only thing I gotta do is make it rhyme.

But there’s also been times where I have to sit down and I have to plan out what I want to say. And I just start writing and then it just starts kinda coming to me. But every song is not like deposited into my spirit. I think God gives me the creative space and the liberty to sometimes just write what I’m feeling or write what I’m going through at the time to relate to other people and just to kinda be human.

Obviously Jesus left a place of glory. He came to earth so that He could identify with human beings and then rise again, eventually, to intercede on our behalf. He couldn’t intercede without being able to relate. So I think sometimes God does want us to just have a human experience and write what we’re going through. He doesn’t really interfere with that.

Sometimes He gives me the liberty to just do what I been doing and I been writing for 12 years. I think he can kinda...kinda trust me a little bit with the pen. [laughs]

But again there are times like with 100 Bars pt. 3. Obviously, the latter half of the song, the two last verses, came from a deep place of prayer and tears, seeing the state of a lot of hip hop artists blaspheming the Lord and coming against and oppressing the church. It just really really burdened me because I saw very, very clearly how the influence of the body of Christ was being, in a sense, kind of stripped away from us. Legally politically, artistically, every way you could think of, the influence of the body of Christ was being stripped away.

And I’m an artist, so my first intention is to make sure that I can do whatever I can in my position to see to it that my God is revered and is feared. So I prayed and I asked God and he started to reveal to me in His scripture what was happening. And that's how I came up with the concept of the connection between Satan being a musician and going from heaven to Earth after likening himself to God- and artists doing the same exact thing on Earth, likening themselves to God, but leading humans from one place to a lower place of separation.

So it just really hit me and connected. A lot of it is just deep prayer, it comes from a place of deep burden, a deep concern for the state of our world, our country and the surrounding countries. Sometimes I go to sleep, wake up and it’s like, “Oh, I know what I need to do today.” [laughs]

J. Monty is an up and coming Christian Hip-Hop artist out of Atlanta, Ga.

known for his versatility, lyrical ability, and insane flow.

Second Born can be found on:

iTunes
Amazon
Google Play

I love the album so much that I am giving away a copy. And in honor of 100 Bars I'm giving away $100 to Dunkin Donuts. Enter the giveaway below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway