"Seems legit." - Me
At least one person in the relationship was no longer satisfied in Christ. It wasn’t anything drastic, it was all very subtle, really.
If you are not driven to live a life of righteousness, this may not be your time to think about marriage.
If the idea of waking up to commune with the Lord, does not excite you- you should not be in a relationship.
Because when God bores you, your flesh will search for something that excites you. Eventually that source of entertainment influences you, and at that moment, sin enters your heart.
Many people get bored after they have been saved for a while. It happens. God is faithful to always draw us back to Him.
However, from my experience: boredom with Christ + relationship = absolute fail. Trying to jump into a relationship, when the most important relationship in your life isn't thriving-
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness. (Psalm 17:15) 2. We lacked direct mentorship. We didn’t have established mentors. Did we have men and women of God in our lives who we looked up to and learned from? Yes. Did we have pastors and church leadership? Yes.
But, was a there a specific, individual couple who mentored us? No. I knew this was a thing people should have, but I didn’t take it serious enough. Looking back, I know that a mentor couple could have seen things in us that we were unable see.
They could have been there to humble us, rebuke us and guide us with the wisdom of Christ. No one ever really had the opportunity to pour into us because they weren’t invited to- and for that, we paid. We made mistakes that could have been avoided and we chose to deal with the consequences alone. Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1)
3. We didn't have accountability. Unfortunately, I don't have many close friends. I love people a lot. I really do! But I haven’t exactly proven that I am willing to sacrifice and give what it takes to build real, genuine friendships...yet. (This will change!) With true friendship comes true accountability. People who care enough to know what you are doing and where you are doing it.
The lack of accountability gave us the “freedom” to do what we wanted...where we wanted to do it. Even though you have a personal relationship with Christ, when you hold yourself accountable, you tend to compromise your standards a lot more than when other people hold you accountable- which is the definition of accountability. Probably. As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17)
4. We kissed. Is kissing inherently sin? Well...no. Do I ever want to do it again outside of marriage? NO. (Sounds a lot like sin, which I also never want to do again...just saying. Whatever. I’ll just leave this here. K bye.)
Refraining from sex can become so religious and legalistic that you forget why you are even doing it- it can literally become an idol. So when you’re wearing abstinence like a badge of honor, it’s no wonder the rest of your standards fail miserably. The goal was to be made into His image now it's simply to not have sex. I know that was a bit deep, so here's a simple verse- Claiming to be wise, they became fools. (Romans 1:22)
5. We were led by temptation and not by God’s timing. As Christians in this world, we are out of place. It’s uncomfortable- it’s one big contradiction. But here we are.
We each have our own story line to salvation, but (spoiler alert) they all have the same ending. We were bad, God made us good. We are called according to God’s plan, which He perfected before we were even born. Yet, we still make our own plans, because we are tempted. And the whole catch with temptation is- it’s the idea that something out there could ever be better than God’s plan. And it can't! It never will!
The desire to be loved is real. Loneliness is real. But just because two single Christians are on fire for the Lord and are compatible- it does not mean it is God’s plan for them to be together.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
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I know Christians everywhere are struggling with sin in their relationships- What has God shown you? I'd love to know :)
I know Christians everywhere are struggling with sin in their relationships- What has God shown you? I'd love to know :)
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