Tuesday, June 9, 2015

3 ways to love people (who are already in your life) better

Because sometimes familiar can be more difficult than the unknown.
• • •

1. Be quick to listen.

Once you get close to someone, it can feel like you already know exactly what they have to offer. You may not know everything about them, but you can kind of guess how they will respond to situations or what advice they may give.

But you know how God is constantly moving in your life, forcing you to grow and evolve? Well guess what, He is doing the same in their life.

Putting limits on people, is kind of, well...putting limits on God. The same One who gave you knowledge and the very words to say, can do the same for others. 

So even when it feels like you've heard everything they have to say, listen. 

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
[James 1:19-20]

2. Keep no record of wrongs.

We live in a "forgive, but don't forget" society. We are taught to remember the times people hurt us, to avoid falling into the same trap twice.  

But God teaches otherwise.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
[Ephesians 4:32]

Even as Christ forgave you. So what if you sinned against God and He was like-

 "Well...I forgive you, butttttt I really can't trust you any more because of that one time you really messed up. Yeah you kinda blew it that time."

You wouldn't even serve Him any more. That concept would contradict the gospel at it's very core.

God tells us to forgive the way He forgave, not the way we want to.

You have hurt people in the past and I'm sure if they gave you another chance, you would choose not to hurt them again.

Now, that doesn't mean falling into the same trap over and over again. If you know someone struggles to keep secrets, you don't have to pretend they don't and confide in them. Just pray for their weakness and trust that God will deliver them in that area. Everyone struggles with something. 

For if you forgive men their trespasses, you heavenly Father will also forgive you. But is you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.
[Matthew 6:14-15]

3. Genuinely compliment their growth.

So numbers one and two pretty much established that we are always growing. And if there's anything I know about growing...it hurts. 

Dying to yourself, suffering losses, feeling alone, like no one truly understands you. It hurts.

So when you notice the love of God in someone's life, tell them. Remind them that it's worth it.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you maybe perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
[James 1:2-4]

• • •

How do you show the people in your life you love them?


  1. Lindsey SmallwoodJune 9, 2015 at 10:45 AM

    Thanks for this Holly, I always struggle with the no record of wrongs, even with all the grace I have from Jesus. Great reminders.

  2. Love love love 💙 thanks for this!

  3. Thanks for the suggestions!! :)

  4. Thanks so much Lindsey. Yeah I think #2 is the tricky one.

  5. Excellent read! Thanks for sharing.

  6. You're so welcome. Thanks for reading, Hayley!

  7. Great ways to encourage people. Loving your blog name too!

  8. Love these, Holly! My favorite: encouraging their growth. I was not raised in an overly encouraging home and now, married to a man that loves to encourage and with children that need lots of it, I'm embracing encouragement. ...and loving giving it out! Thanks for the tips and reminders!

  9. I know what you mean, it can be hard to accept in a situation like that. But I'm sure now you appreciate encouragement all the more. We all need it, thanks for reading :)