Because there's a thin line between "Brother-in-Christ" and "Mr.Right."
1. Don't tell him your secrets.
Don't even tell him your business. Here's why:
1. He doesn't care.
Men communicate different than women. You can pour you heart out to your best-friend and she will be waiting with an empty bucket and a tissue to collect all your tears. A guy will most likely just shrug.
And even if he has good advice to offer, he only heard a third of what you said. Not to discredit men's listening skills, but let's be honest, you can talk for 20 minutes straight with no clear point.
When you tell someone what you are going through, you are making yourself vulnerable and giving that person a place within your heart. Being too "transparent" with guys can create a misunderstanding in the friendship.
2. Treat him like a...wait for it...a brother.
I remember my best friend and I were having a conversation about having guy friends and she dropped this bomb:
"If he is really your brother in Christ, treat him like you treat your brother."
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I have brothers, three of em. Um. Ew. If you don't have any brothers, just think about the boundaries between siblings and let that sink in. You would never fall for your brother. Again, ew.
3. Don't use the, "Oh but we're saved" excuse.
Duh. That's why you need to be careful. Saved folk still have emotions. We still fall for people we shouldn't. We are still able to fall into same traps that we fell into in the world.
3. Absolutely no guy BFF's.
B.F.F? Best-friend forever. So let me get this right, you plan on having a guy bestie when you're married?
4. No male mentors either (or accountability partners.)
Exactly what is he supposed to be mentoring you on again? Courting? How to be a wife? Motherhood? That time of the month?
"Oh, what's that? You say you have cramps? Don't worry."
5. Never hang out with him alone.
And I wouldn't even do too much texting outside of a group message. You might not think you could be tempted by your Brother-in-Christ. But in this pursuit of purity, you'd be surprise what or who can tempt you. The flesh is very weak. Say it with me-
More ways coming soon! (Unless of course I forget.)
YEEEEESSS! I needed to hear this fo sho. Ugh so much truth. so much wisdom! And a dash of "dur why didn't I figure that out on my own". Also the gifs. THE GIFS. You are the queen of GIFS. I'm literally sitting here at 11:30pm howling as per usual. like yea no biggie. I actually need that part 2 like yesterday so.. *side eye emoji*
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahahahhaah. Oh man.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it's 11:30, how was your day?! lol
Ok I guess I'll have to make part 2 sooner than later. I quickly wrote this on my lunch break so I was like ok I have to get back to work what should I do? Then proceeded to end it abruptly and add "pt.1" to the title. Thanks girl!!!
Hahaha this is the best. I love the gifs you used!
ReplyDeleteThis was SOOO needed
ReplyDeleteShannon! is that you?!? haha thanks girl!
ReplyDeleteYes girl!! I have a mentor that I never chose tho. It's been almost 8 years and he's still mentoring me (from another country tho)
ReplyDeleteAnother country definitely sounds like a boundary lol just a couple chill oceans or whatever. Thanks Kimie!
ReplyDeletenumber 3 was soo hilarious ..loll
ReplyDeleteYou're a very wise woman. I believe it's perfectly fine to have Christian friends of the opposite gender (and, in fact, necessary, if we don't want to remain single forever), but it's good to be cautious. I remember telling all of my family who were rolling their eyes at one of my best buddies from my freshman year of college, "It's nothing--we met at Bible study, he's moving to the other side of the country after graduation, we're seriously just friends." And now we're approaching our 5th wedding anniversary--not saying it's a bad thing to have friendship turn into something else, but it's good to be honest with yourself!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sister Mary White.
ReplyDeleteAww thank you so much Erin! Yes I could start a campaign lol I'm with you on that
ReplyDeleteWow holly! I really love this post girl! It definitely spoke to me and you made a lot of good points. I saw you through your conference and didn't even say anything to you :/ God bless you girl! Continue to be a vessel for the kingdom of God 😘
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling with this and these tips were a Godsend! I will be applying them. (: I also really wish they talked more about these things in church, ya know? We get the purity talk so often, but no real methods of how to apply them. ): Thank goodness there are blogs!
ReplyDeleteMmmm "real methods of how to apply them, yes. Now that is something to talk about.
ReplyDeleteThis! I could've ued this wisdom a year ago when I fell HARD for a brother in Christ. If only I had treated him like an actual brother!
ReplyDeleteYes Liz, the actual brother one got me too. But it's all good because we're moving forward lol...praise God!
ReplyDelete