Tuesday, February 17, 2015

5 ways to build a healthy foundation for a Godly relationship

1. Talk, don't text.

Texting is so 2015.

Maybe I'm old school but I hate texting. Am I the only one who thinks texting is exclusively for when you're in class or need to give someone your address?

I think the problem with getting too close to someone through text, is that you aren't actually getting close. You can't always read someone's sense of humor or their laugh.

You can't even be sure if they legitimately LOL or are simply J/K. So when you finally get to hang out with them, you are shocked to see how they react to certain jokes.

Relationships built on texting are awkward. Sometimes we type things we normally wouldn't feel comfortable saying (which can be good in some situations, but certainly not all.)

The little things we are attracted to are usually based on things we hear and see.

Similarly, the things we can't stand the most may go unnoticed when we only text someone. For example: you will never know if they cut you off in the middle of your sentences.

Or if they think the best time to have a full blown conversation is right after they take a bite of their dinner.

2. Visit their church.

If you end up marrying this person, it won't be long before you start talking about what church you will be attending. Pray that God will clearly reveal to you where He wants you to serve.  And in the meantime, visit each other's church.

Church is more dynamic than a young adult ministry or a campus fellowship. A home church can reveal how someone relates to families, children, leadership and a group of people whose lives they know and love.

Plus, the people at their church know them better than you do so you can find out things like whether they actually pay attention on Sundays…or just spend the entire morning texting you.

3. Meet their family.

Because epically embarrassing stories that make you look at them in an entirely new light.

And possibly question everything. But it's worth it.

4. Pray for them more than you talk to them.

I am a firm believer that if you get close enough to anyone, you can start to "like" them. Maybe everything about them annoyed you at first, but because you got to know them you sort of kind of appreciate them and maybe even feel like you owe them something.

question mark.
Spending less time playing and more time praying will get you the answers you need sooner. God will reveal things because He freely gives wisdom (James 1:5.)

5. Don't do anything with them that your future spouse would not want you to do with anyone other than himself/herself.

This person is of the opposite gender (I blogged about not falling for your bro-in-Christ here) so you don't really need to pour out your heart to them. Take it slow and treat them like a friend. If you share EVERYTHING with everyone, things could get pretty awkward when your future spouse meets your friends.


  1. I love that you use gifs to illustrate your point! These tips are so good to hear, even after you're in a relationship because it can help prepare you for getting closer to a person, starting a new friendship, and even look back on areas and see where you can change. I love the first point especially... talking in person is so much better and more real!

  2. This was such a great read, even as a single woman! Thank you for sharing!


  3. Yes. I didn't even consider all the other situations it could prepare you for. SO much more real!! Thanks Nat :)

  4. I love this and I especially love #4. How incredible it would be to actually play that out in a relationship!

  5. "Pray for them more than you talk to them." WHOA I love this!! What a good reminder to keep Christ in every relationship and to put that immediately at the forefront. Beautifully worded!


  6. Tell me about Erin. Man I love how real you keep it lol

  7. Yesss Erica, thanks for stopping by!